Progressive health problems are progressing. Slowly losing my life more and more to these awful diseases. Every month another small capability dies, and my life shrinks again.

I try to focus on the short term, living day to day. That isn’t so bad, I’m reasonably happy. But sometimes I look up and remember the cliff edge approaching. I think that would disturb anybody.

I don’t know how to

Brain chemistry and resistance to medication.

Chronic fatigue and insomnia.

But I am. Check mate, atheists.

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What would be the point?

If you are happy you are a target, you still haven’t lost hope and you still have something that can be taken away.

I’m lonely and hate myself, and I hate myself too much to move towards not being lonely.

Also I’m in the Navy, and I work insane hours.

Why should I be?

I have balls.

Almost every issue I have right now goes back to billionaires, fascism, or capitalism. The last two years have been the most difficult of my life so far, and literally existential. I just nearly avoided statelessness and now I can’t legally work following a layoff, so I’ve been living off of savings

Dunno

I don’t really have any complaints, I’m just not a very happy person

Because 46 and lost remote job, and after working a year from home dread having to go into work. Especially with gas what it is and I live in shit hole state with no public transportation. Add to the fact that I must try find work in this economy while dealing with ageism. Just fucking hate this shit.

I suffer with self confidence and consider myself forgettable