I dressed up in the pink skirt I ordered, dark blue sweatpant bottoms, and a thick leather jacket that hides most of my features. And a mask over my face to still hide the moustache…

It was midnight on a Sunday so zero people out in my neighborhood. It was calm and quiet and chilly and empty. Made me feel… more okay with it. And then I went home and stared at myself in the mirror for like half an hour.

Haha im so fuckeddddddddd

  • Azalea@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    4·
    2 days ago

    If you’re anything like me the mirror thing is going to keep happening lol.

    You also kind of reminded me I haven’t worn a skirt out yet, I think that’s mainly because I don’t have a good skirt to wear more than me feeling anxious about it.

    Anyway I’m happy you got to experience that, I hope you get a lot more moments like that to help figure this all out (if you want to, of course).

    • NotAHondaAccord@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      2·
      2 days ago

      Is your mirror thing where you also stand there and stare at yourself and feel like, mental switches gradually flipping to where you actually see yourself as feminine/a girl and not just surface pretending/hiding? Cuz that’s kind of how I felt.

      Get a skirt girl!! I could recommend the Amazon one I got, it feels pretty nice although maybe a little bit short (it’s about 15")

      • Azalea@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        2·
        1 day ago

        Kind of, I used to avoid the mirror a lot, but when I looked in it I mainly tried to figure out why I didn’t like it, and then I had a couple of times (e.g. accidentally covering my eyebrows) where my brain did flip some switches for me and I felt pretty good about it. Socially transitioning did more of the switch flipping in my case, I don’t think all the staring in the world would’ve changed my stubborn mind lol.

        Nowadays I look in the mirror a lot, but that’s for other reasons (“ok but like how do I look today”, or “what can I change about my face to be more fem”)

        Regardless I’m happy yours isn’t so toxic by comparison, seeing a girl in the mirror is honestly pretty tough for me, so I’m glad you’re already doing that.

        Get a skirt girl!!

        I will do! I do have a couple polyester skirts but I’m mainly looking for something I’d be happy wearing to University or something, I remember really liking the “houndstooth” one that icky had on her website but they ran out and aren’t restocking in the near future :(