I am VERY opinionated about a lot of things. I often wish I could just sit back and not be so staunch :(
One of my staunchest opinions is that most people including myself are idiots, so I probably should think carefully about all my opinions and I should be open to reevaluating them periodically.
My conviction of not comitting crimes or being dishonest to clients and customers at the behest of an employer has gotten me fired more than once.
But I never wished I was a piece of shit that would do so without question. I just wished I could get a job not run by pieces of shit.
If convictions are backed up by best knowledge we have and stand up to scrutiny then they are good until new information is discovered that updates the old. Don’t fall for the ego control, be aware it wants to be right and fights new information, but shouldn’t, learning new things is fun! Follow Sagan’s baloney detection kit, and scientific method, and one part is don’t get attached to a theory. To combine Sagan and Watts, we’re all waves of one ocean, made of stardust, the cosmos observing itself, that’s the truth that sets us free, test it :)
Edit: Convictions are part of Perry’s scheme of cognition, and to get there it requires the skepticism to understand what is peer-reviewed and data backed and what is not.
I have changed my mind on enough serious issues over my lifetime that I was on the wrong side of that I do feel pretty confident that my most strongly held convictions are worth the strength with which I hold them. And also that they are not immune from being re-evaluated given enough good evidence against them.
I often wish I could just sit back and not be so staunch :(
I remember having lengthy debates with myself in elementary school about how strictly I adhered to my personal convictions. It seemed like most people didn’t care, or could easily let go of things. I wanted so badly to stop caring about the specifics of things and just be chill like everyone else, but I just couldn’t let go. Without empirical evidence to prove me wrong, I just wouldn’t budge in my convictions. I was practically in tears about it at times.
Many years later, in my late 30s, I found out that I have a severe case of ADHD. The doctor who diagnosed me had her PhD in ADHD studies and had been working as a researcher and therapist in the field of ADHD for 11 years. She said I was the worst case she’d ever seen.
Most of my childhood was lived through the '80s-'90s, when ADHD was just the “hyperactive kid syndrome.” If you weren’t constantly running around screaming and disrupting everything around you, you were considered normal.
I was always bursting with energy and internally screaming when I had to sit still for more than 5 minutes. But everyone just chalked it up to me being an energy-filled kid with a wild imagination and a love for playing outdoors. The fact that I could sit still meant that I was “normal.”
But as the decades rolled on, our understanding of ADHD has increased and it turns out, it’s a lot more complicated than we originally thought. Obsessing over details, pouring over concepts again and again to form strong opinions, and then refusing to change those convictions unless definitively proven wrong is 100% an effect of ADHD.
Not saying you have ADHD, OP, but your situation is very familiar to me, and ADHD was the answer I lacked for many years.
Im pretty laid back but also pretty staunch in my convictions. My bar to engage was kinda high before the internet. I had to sorta respect your intellectual ability before I would. I will only knock my head against a wall so much though.
In my early 20s, I was close to what might now be called a budding christian nationalist listening to right-wing AM radio on my lunch break thinking people were lazy and just didn’t work hard enough (I was making I think $26k/yr then at my first salaried “real job”. It wasn’t enough to save much money on even in the early 2000s). Had the internet been where it is now back then, I don’t even want to think about what I may have become.
Fast forward to today in my mid-40s and I’m a left-leaning atheist union member who believes we need to have better social programs, free education, wealth tax, UBI, etc. If not a complete 180, at least very close to it.
I do change my mind on things as evidence and experience guide me to do so. When beliefs become too much of one’s identity, whatever those beliefs may be, things start getting into very dangerous territory. I used to be very dogmatic and sure of my path in my 20s.
Agreed. Anyone who makes their beliefs their identity runs the risk of being a clone of their opponents.
I have a very strict moral and ethic code - I cannot shut up if i perceive someone being treated unfairly or harassed, and it has gotten me into my share of conflicts (often out of the blue). I do not want to change that - it is an integral part of my personality that i think is a very positive feature, because it makes me stand up for others who might not be able to do it.
But it comes with a cost, because that strict code is applied to myself at a much larger scale and with much less leeway than i apply it to the outside. This makes every decision and action something i have to get my own approval for, and i am in no way benevolent or even slightly nice towards myself and my performance. I’ve been working on reducing these tendencies in therapy for years now, and i have made some progress (my therapist says it’s quite a lot of progress in comparison to most of his clients, but i am a lot less forgiving and have a hard time appreciating how much i have already changed), but it’s a pretty hard task. So if i had the option of being less rigid internally and more appreciative of my actions, i would take that for sure.
Staunch? I am constantly reevaluating my positions; considering new data or hypotheticals to challenge them or debating them with myself to make sure they are worthy of me holding them.
I think the ability to adapt one’s viewpoint to the addition of new information is a hallmark of maturity. It does depend on the ability to critically evaluate information, though, which is fallible in any human.
Wishing I wasn’t staunch doesn’t sound very staunch to me…
But you answer your question, yes, I’m resolute in my convictions. I don’t have many of them but the ones I have are worth defending.
Some things yes. Somethings no. The question is, can you be a person about it?
If you are arguing about whether people have human rights inherently? Awesome. Keep that. If you are routinely arguing about how many wheels a train car should have? Maybe chill out. People are going to have different values than you so ymmv, but if you can make an effort to attempt to empathize most things aren’t as cut and dry as even Lemmy makes them out to be.
Ok but 8 wheels (4 on each side of the car) is the objectively correct choice and anyone who disagrees is DEAD TO ME.
Why would I ever wish I didn’t care about integrity and caring for others?
Staunch in some, not so much in others. Depends on the topic.
Only when people can’t be bothered to defend their opposition to my stance. When people are actually willing to engage with what I’m saying, I’m perfectly willing to change my mind.
My take, people being idiots sucks, but life’s a pretty big joke really, it’s not all that serious, you don’t have be the fool of the joke by getting so worked up.
it’s pretty serious for the victims of the world, no?
I’m of both minds here: I see where the person you’re responding to is coming from because most of the day to day stuff is stuff we should take less seriously (e.g. working in the corporate world, social constructs of gender roles etc). But you’re right there are very serious things in the world that are happening often because other people take shit too seriously and fuck it up for everyone else (e.g. “I must be the most powerful person in the world” leading to destroying everything for everyone). We’re forced to take that shit seriously because it’s doing real harm.
You gotta find the balance where you’re not burning yourself out by taking it all too seriously.






