That makes sense. It can be a touchy topic for some people though so I’m usually too nervous to bring it up, even though you’re right it can be a pretty good icebreaker.
Like I’m socially awkward but I can talk about food somewhat comfortably, so if I know someone’s cultural heritage I can ask them about certain dishes or relate my experience with those dishes. But if all I know is that they’re East Asian, I can only guess whether they’re Chinese or Japanese or Taiwanese or Vietnamese or Korean based on how they look, but that’s not always accurate and is dangerously close to stereotyping.
I can go off their name if it’s a traditional one, but if they have a western name then that’s not much of a context clue. So that makes it a lot harder to connect about food, and then I’m left scraping my braincells for something to say that won’t sound weird, and after a few seconds’ hesitation with my eyes rolling up into my head people tend to get weirded out anyway and walk away…
I see how it could be uncomfortable. From one internet stranger to another, I hope you know it’s appreciated. That kind of empathy already goes a long way. It might not come out that way but I see it from here.
Some real advice for situations where you’re not quite sure how to address the ethnicity topic: you could just ask if they grew up in <your city>. If they say no, they might tell you where they grew up. If not, let it pass. Not everyone wants to talk about where they grew up. 1st generation+ Asians can be all over the place on comfort with their identity.
Also, if the vibes aren’t there, they might just not want to talk. That’s fine too.
That makes sense. It can be a touchy topic for some people though so I’m usually too nervous to bring it up, even though you’re right it can be a pretty good icebreaker.
Like I’m socially awkward but I can talk about food somewhat comfortably, so if I know someone’s cultural heritage I can ask them about certain dishes or relate my experience with those dishes. But if all I know is that they’re East Asian, I can only guess whether they’re Chinese or Japanese or Taiwanese or Vietnamese or Korean based on how they look, but that’s not always accurate and is dangerously close to stereotyping.
I can go off their name if it’s a traditional one, but if they have a western name then that’s not much of a context clue. So that makes it a lot harder to connect about food, and then I’m left scraping my braincells for something to say that won’t sound weird, and after a few seconds’ hesitation with my eyes rolling up into my head people tend to get weirded out anyway and walk away…
I see how it could be uncomfortable. From one internet stranger to another, I hope you know it’s appreciated. That kind of empathy already goes a long way. It might not come out that way but I see it from here.
Some real advice for situations where you’re not quite sure how to address the ethnicity topic: you could just ask if they grew up in <your city>. If they say no, they might tell you where they grew up. If not, let it pass. Not everyone wants to talk about where they grew up. 1st generation+ Asians can be all over the place on comfort with their identity.
Also, if the vibes aren’t there, they might just not want to talk. That’s fine too.