Long story short I don’t feel like I deserve romance in my life yet. I feel like I got nothing to offer. I have felt this way for most of my life. Even though I have developed plenty of hobbies (I dance, skateboard, climb, go to the gym, etc.) and social circles. On one hand I am happy with myself and on another I feel like I can’t offer the other party anything, romance wise.
Normally others would say ‘You’ll find someone dont’cha worry ‘bout notin’ ya’hear?’ But I am at a point now where I hope a woman will not develop feelings for me because I am afraid of disappointing her. And through the years this only been getting worse. I know this is not a good way of thinking but I just can’t shake it.
I want to (mentally) change but I just don’t know how. So if anyone has got some tips for me (really anything goes) that might help I would very much appreciate it.
Note: I don’t care if the process of learning self love is slow, I just want to know what the process involves.
Edit: I am reading some great suggestions. So thank you all for that. Just as a reminder, I am not expecting people on the internet to fix my problems. Just some general, rule of thumb, tips (and or tricks).
This could just be depression.
No, that’s incidental in this case. I am depressed because I feel this way. It’s not depression that makes me feel this way.
FWIW, you can never know which is cart and which is horse.
Which is exactly what someone with depression would say. Clinical Depression doesn’t bother to tell you that it’s a special kind of sadness.
Besides, It’s a lot easier to fix your body’s chemistry than it is to fix your whole life, so why not start small?
Like other commenter said, it’s hard from your perspective to tell the difference.
Depression is a weird way we evolved to protect ourselves that has gotten out of hand.
Depression will tell you that you’re undesirable and unlovable. And, if you believe it, it’ll get louder and more insistent. It actually feels safer and safer the more you listen to it. You might not realize it but you will try to stay depressed. Because it feels safe.
The hard thing to do is to tell Depression to fuck off and to do things in contradiction to the narrative that you are undesirable and unlovable. The more you ignore Depression, the weaker it gets and those negative thoughts and opinions of yourself fade away.