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Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.comM to The Shitpost Office@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 days ago

UPGRADES

lemmy.dbzer0.com

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UPGRADES

lemmy.dbzer0.com

Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.comM to The Shitpost Office@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 days ago
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  • FireRetardant@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    One switch per ball cause everyone knows the girl sperm is in the left testicle and the boy sperm in the right.

    • Darkard@lemmy.world
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      5 days ago

    • SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      5 days ago

      I had a unilateral orchiectomy due to torsion as a teenager and my father had to be repeatedly reassured that one didn’t need to “mix the juice” from both to impregnate someone.

      There’s nothing finer than a United States education!

  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    girlfriend giving me a seductive massage

    “Yes yes yes!”

    Accidentally toggle my balls to ‘Mad Max Mode’

    “No no nooooooooooooooooooo!”

    • Derpenheim@lemmy.zip
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      5 days ago

      WITNESS ME!!!

  • Sundray@lemmus.org
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    5 days ago

    “Dear subscriber, thank you for trusting your reproductive organs to Microballs. It’s been our pleasure to serve you, but unfortunately we need to tell you that support for your genitals is being discontinued in 30 days, after which time paid features such as ‘arousal’ and ‘having an orgasm’ will no longer be available.”

  • Covenant@sh.itjust.works
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    5 days ago

    What was it again, up is off right? Right?

    • swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      5 days ago

      That’s why you need an LED indicator

      • kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world
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        5 days ago

        My balls are already equipped with rgb lights. Very festive. Maybe a speaker? Robotic lady voice: “Lock engaged. Enjoy your intercourse.”, “Lock disengaged. Careful, this thing’s loaded.”

        • swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          4 days ago

          Make it Kurt Russell and you’ve got yourself a deal

  • recklessengagement@lemmy.world
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    5 days ago

    “Have you tried turning them off then on again?”

  • Parafaragaramus@infosec.pub
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    5 days ago

    Self destruction activated.

The Shitpost Office@lemmy.dbzer0.com

TheShitpostOffice@lemmy.dbzer0.com

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Welcome to The Shitpost Office

Shitposts processed from 9 to 5, with occasional overtime on weekends.

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