rather than dropping down through a trapdoor, the condemned would be violently jerked into the air by means of a system of weights and pulleys

Combine it with a trebuchet and Wile E Coyote the bastards.

I feel like there should be an addendum called Trump’s razor: if there’s a possible explanation that’s both malicious AND stupid, it’s probably the correct one. Your previous theory would fit.

I quite like pineapple and feta. Nice sweet and salty combo.

Basically the same way the douchey rich kid who’s tolerated because he’s got a Playstation AND an N64 is “popular”.

Trump is Cocomelon for racist manchildren. Jimmy the Loveseat can sound vaguely coherent in carefully scripted and rehearsed contexts but anything even REMOTELY improvisational and he falls apart like a wet napkin. He’s a blatant puppet who was chosen purely for the ability to fit the largest number of rolexes in his colon.

Graduated in '07 and yeah, all Mean Girls was missing was Happy Bunny and these fucking things:

Anal bum cover for 300

Also if he’s been wearing compression dressings it would explain the photos from a while back where he clearly had something on his legs under his pants.

Especially in NYC. Bike delivery has been a thing there long before uberdashhub. Hell, it was a fucking plot point in Spiderman 2 back in 2004:

Gonna need to spend a lot of time scrubbing ducks with dish soap if we dump something that greasy into the ocean.

Yup. That’s why the whole “weird” thing Harris’ campaign did towards the beginning was so effective and why they never should have fucking abandoned that strategy. You can’t use logic on someone occupying a completely different reality and even rage, however justified, often just gets used as fodder for them to play the victim. But make a narcissist feel embarrassed? Make them feel they’re being mocked? They completely fucking short circuit.

He also completely seems the type to leave a come-to-jesus meeting with his doctor about how he absolutely has to change his diet and start exercising and still hit the McDonald’s drive thru on the way home, so with a little luck, the best possible medical care won’t matter nearly as much as it could.

“Your honor, I’m missing my grandmother terribly. She would always side with me on legal decisions…”

Yeah, I read that as well. Ironically enough, it actually gave me a tiny shred of hope that we might get exceptionally lucky and the fucking thing would get wiped out by a hurricane or something before they managed to actually get anyone in there, but unfortunately the bastards work fast.

The second one looks like an English bulldog with jaundice preparing to tell a spooky story around a campfire.

He has what I’ve taken to calling “carnival barker energy”. Certainly not intelligence, and not quite charisma, but a particular kind of stage presence that for some inexplicable reason attracts vibes based morons like flies on shit. He’s basically Cocomelon for manchildren and racists.