I have a crow who frequents my yard and I will sometimes throw a raw unsalted cashew to him. Lately, he’s brought me a couple sticks and he will sit up on the telephone line doing what looks like a courtship dance at me. Almost simultaneously, he clicks, bobs his head, and makes a soft “hoot” sound, like cooing. He is a funny bird.

It’s like an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object. And getting brunch. And really hitting it off.

That’s a lot more fun than when I trained my dog to find Parkinsons. I only have one friend named Parkinson, so it wasn’t very impressive.

Yeah, I wasn’t able to find any waste, fraud, or abuse, and rather than saving money like we promised, it turns out we’re spending more money. Like a lot more. Like instead of saving a trillion dollars how I said we would, we’ve spent over two hundred billion more than last year in just a few months. Oh, and you know how we said your taxes would go down? Funny thing, they’re actually going to go up - for you I mean, mine will weirdly go down still. And my companies will also do pretty well because of the government subsidies and all that. Oh, and it’s pretty convenient that all of those investigations into my businesses randomly got dropped. Coincidental those investigations were under the same agencies where we imagined we’d find the most waste, fraud, and abuse. Good thing shutting them down without the authority to do so was much easier than actually proving any wrongdoing took place. Anyway, good luck getting a job if you’re one of the many experienced government employees I fired. I know things are unusually rough right now, for some reason. Lots of people attacking the United States with bad trade deals out of nowhere, like how Ukraine attacked Russia so randomly. Good thing we’re diverting so much money from those pointless social safety nets (I mean, they’ve never helped me) to put it toward additional warfare. That’ll show all those countries who refuse to bend the knee. Oh, are you still here? Shouldn’t you be working long hours for a slave wage somewhere?

Yeah, 2 tines and 4 handle is a pretty good fork, I’ll admit. I just worry about the concave shape of the top side of the handle causing the edges to dig into my fingers with long-term use.

Trumpism:

Ukraine should concede Crimea and anything else Russia wants - but Obama should never have let Russia take Crimea!

If you elect me, I’ll have a deal made on day one - but whatever deal I make they won’t take it, it’s all Biden’s fault!

I’m going to put tariffs on every country in the world except Russia because things are already so tough for them - but they won’t listen to me, somebody needs to sanction Russia!

I think Ukraine needs to apologize to Russia for instigating such an aggressive war - but why won’t anyone acknowledge how smart I am on foreign policy?

Those prongs are fine. The handle, though, it’s like having a huge counterweight on the back of the utensil. I can imagine liking it if it’s always been that way or if you have big hands. Otherwise, handle number 5 is the clear improvement - no sharp edges, properly balanced, not shaped like a wedge. Could hold that fork for days.

The will of the people

It is clear to me that the only explanation for your preference is nostalgia.

“Are you lying to me right now?”

“Yes.”

Basically the plot of Kaiba.

Aww, salty lemmo

Yes, this level of control over how the populace thinks is a step along the path toward turning human beings into livestock. I’m not fond of it.

Yeah, I want to feel that bone in my mouth. Put that bone inside me, chicken. Let me suck the meat from your bone.

This comment brought to you by manly men who are straight and also not gay.

Selfawarewolves

Reminds me of this clip.

She should swallow a hydrogen cyanide capsule that only dissolves if triggered by the detection of radioactive decay.

Who knows what will happen to the cat?

Well, it gets confusing when your mom is a famous stock photo hand model.

Oh, I’ve got zero history of diagnosis or treatment for anything. But it’s become very apparent I definitely have multiple things lol. I just don’t really see doctors and that will someday be a problem.

So many people I know have been diagnosed and are on treatments though, and the fact that we’ve already gotten to the stage of disappearing protected classes despite court orders is troubling as hell to put it mildly. I want to believe we can still stop this before the worst happens, but securing a stable life elsewhere is frankly not a bad idea.

💯

Here’s hoping nerodivergents can band together and rise in the shadows to create systems that are far better than what society currently offers, and outcompete to such a degree that the corporations atrophy and die.