Your insubordination has guaranteed your death, there can be no alternative.

Alternatively

Hey, space is a tough place where wimps eat flaming plasma death.

Like this? https://i.imgur.com/ddluECA.mp4

How could you slander my boy Theoden in this way

PSA: Don’t give scented candles to your friends who keep invertebrate pets. There is some evidence that aerosolized scents can cause dyskinetic syndrome, which is a terrible way to go.

🔥 That’s not an improvement!

Would her attire signify being in mourning in the time and place this was painted? That seems to add more to the story.

SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. 🍻🎺

That was so incredibly disappointing.

If I’m not the farmer?

I would follow a pre-scripted path depending on the day of the week and season, and refuse to accept more than two gifts. I would be a romance option, but the annoying kind that stays inside most of the time so it’s hard to build rapport.

For extra credit, I would post ads inexplicably asking for someone to bring me a topaz to rub on my sore knees.

I recognize and sympathize with the energy of this comment. I have also had a medical setback recently that is making it really hard for me to exercise. I had a tumor removed and they took my thyroid out with it, and something is not right with the replacement meds. It is tough to make people understand just how awful it can be to feel exhausted and irritable and confused every single day. What happened to you sucks, and it isn’t fair, and it’s okay to not be okay with it. For what it’s worth, I hope your bone does grow back.

I think that varies wildly from one person to another. For me, housework is emotionally exhausting. So is making decisions that affect other people, like where to go for dinner. These are examples where it feels like a bad kind of exhausting. On the other hand, running a D&D game is a thing that’s emotionally exhausting but that I still enjoy doing.

Oh, that’s why I like “dipshit” so much. Now I understand myself better, thanks!

The sound of Agatha Trunchbull’s angry grunt as she throws the shot put in her office to intimidate Ms. Honey in Matilda (1996).

Or really, any of the noises she makes throughout that entire movie.

Disgusting things, children. Glad I never was one.

A psychopath wouldn’t be worried about whether they’re a psychopath.

Even if you didn’t like their coffee, they sell like candy and sandwiches and mugs and stuff? That’s not a useless gift card and I’m sorry you lost it!

This isn’t stupid, it is righteous

Two approaches. Mixed success with both.

1. Choose games that don’t make you feel bad. This can mean playing more cooperative games, or it can mean offering to referee or sit out games you know will just piss you off. For me, the chance of winning isn’t appealing enough to outweigh the chance of ruining the game for someone else. It helps to identify what exactly it is about losing that makes you so sour. I have a hard time with games like Cards Against Humanity because the card combinations that are funny to me usually aren’t funny to anyone else because they didn’t go on the ADHD field trip with me to make those connections. It starts to feel like a popularity contest that I’m losing because my brain is wired wrong, and it’s hard not to take that personally.

2. Set different goals in the games you’re playing, and define ‘winning’ for yourself based on those goals. I used to get annoyed every time my friends pulled out settlers of Catan. I would do what made sense to me each turn, but I’d always lose anyway either to random chance or just not having enough RAM in my brain. Even on the rare occasions I won I often wouldn’t have fun with it because I spent so much of the game being frustrated. So I decided the only thing I cared about in the game was getting one of the bonus goals, usually ‘longest road’. That was much easier to focus on, and it took all the pressure off me to win. After a while it became kind of a running joke.

It’s not perfect, and it doesn’t happen in a vacuum either. Sore losers often have anger issues they’re not dealing with (I know I did!) and figuring that stuff out will help in more areas of your life than just board games.

Your mileage may vary.

Good luck!

Two approaches. Mixed success with both.

1. Choose games that don’t make you feel bad. This can mean playing more cooperative games, or it can mean offering to referee or sit out games you know will just piss you off. For me, the chance of winning isn’t appealing enough to outweigh the chance of ruining the game for someone else. It helps to identify what exactly it is about losing that makes you so sour. I have a hard time with games like Cards Against Humanity because the card combinations that are funny to me usually aren’t funny to anyone else because they didn’t go on the ADHD field trip with to make those connections. It starts to feel like a popularity contest that I’m losing because my brain is wired wrong, and it’s hard not to take that personally.

2. Set different goals in the games you’re playing, and define ‘winning’ for yourself based on those goals. I used to get annoyed every time my friends pulled out settlers of Catan. I would do what made sense to me each turn, but I’d always lose anyway either to random chance or just not having enough RAM in my brain. Even on the rare occasions I won I often wouldn’t have fun with it because I spent so much of the game being frustrated. So I decided the only thing I cared about in the game was getting one of the bonus goals, usually ‘longest road’. That was much easier to focus on, and it took all the pressure off me to win. After a while it became kind of a running joke.

It’s not perfect, and it doesn’t happen in a vacuum either. Sore losers often have anger issues they’re not dealing with (I know I did!) and figuring that stuff out will help in more areas of your life than just board games.

Your mileage may vary.

Good luck!