I have been working on myself and somehow improved my mental health a bit through reflecting, journaling, talking openly with my close ones and a bit of therapy.

On a technical side I have been redoing the architecture of my home lab without it ever working before. My end goal is pangolin on my vps, a dmz, a vpn net, opnsense firewall vm, authentik and the of cause all my services. I am working backwards as I want to build a functional base so my buddy can deploy services again if he wants to, using authentik finally. Its a journey. It can be exhausting but to be honest I rely on llms writing boiler plate or example ansible configs for me to take off quite some load. It speeds up the process quite nicely.

My other project I am working on is a light controller software based on a steam deck that is supposed to work like the robe robo spot follow spot system. Most of my backend is done, I need some redesign of how data flows but basically its only the output layer that is missing. Its a huge project and I am learning soo incredibly much about software architecture and software engineering. I am very grateful for my prof that he sometimes takes time to help me rethink my architecture.

I saw a few people about how they find it overwhelming that so many people work on stuff. Donr be hard on yourself. We only portrait here what we choose to. My server project just crossed the 2 year mark. It tales time to learn and learning is exhausting. Some people don’t like working on a project for this long wich is fine. Some people find life exhausting wich is also fine. I have a few privileges in life that makes it easier for me and also enjoy working more than social life which can be tough mentally as well. Also, if you find stuff interesting, just dip your towes in. No one expects anything of you. I often find myself having 2-4h more energy a day than expected, specially if I like the topic or project.

Oh wow, cool, dass man jetzt ein paar Jahre nachdem der Krempel eingeführt wurde, über sowas anchdenkt :) Das wird mit der lustigen alters app sicherlich besser laufen

I’m scared this will be a bit bland compared to the polished drg. I think we can’t expect the same game and see it as just something different. But the devs will make it great over time, I’m sure. See you tonight!

I struggle go see beyond my unconsciousness pishing back and hindering me to reflect in a neutral way. I feel like I am stuck with my own image of myself without a possibility to see the actual me if that makes sense, so I feel like I’m not capable to be and feel myself? Like, in my mind the way people perceive me and respect and enjoy me is only a person I try to be while hiding my actual intentions. I am open with my thoughts and I am rarely hesitant to be honest but I still feel that contrast