I can be either, depending on what the sub wants tbh. I just get off on other people getting as much pleasure as they can have.
I love a good soft Dom myself but I can also be a pain slut depending on where Iām at in my cycle, so I understand the appeal of both. Hell I also love a good soft psychological dom that uses degradation to play mind games with me .
All Iām interested in when I dom is seeing somebody whimper and beg for me, by any means.
Right?? Itās the bessst ugh. Iām a sucker for the āyouāre a disgrace and I donāt know why I want you so badlyā kind of trope haha, like someone is struggling to reconcile why theyāre so attracted to such a loser š¤
See now, as an actual switchā¦ orā¦ maybe just literally me (?)ā¦ I just actually do not enjoy verbally degrading people, makes me feel disgusted with myself.
I prefer simply demonstrating, practically, with controlled force, that you are at my mercy.
ā¦ you might be be able to mind game me out of thatā¦ but I would simply enjoy that.
Or you might be able to physically out do me, which I would also enjoy.
Not insults though. Genuine turn off for me, giving them or recieving them. Taunts? Dares? Absolutely. Degradation? ā¦ find another switch-dom.
Nowā¦ learning what you like, and withholding it from you? That I can do.
Butā¦ specifically punishing someone with something they do consent to, but causes them genuine discomfort, significant pain or panic?
Canāt do it. Too much of genuinely nice person, or something.
That makes total sense! To be fair Iād only do degradation with the most trusted of partners because it needs to come from someone of whose opinion of me i am well aware. Most of the time Iām just a competitive brat hahaha
Really love a switchy physical power dynamic where power shifts between both partners.
The mind games and degradation are for a very specific type of itch, however (hint: itās trauma).
Oh Iām not even trying to judge you or anything, you donāt need to justify anything to me, I justā¦ I am only mean to people I genuinely dislike or hate or despise in some way, or have done something severe, of the same description.
To me that seems like the antithesis of ā¦ love or just enjoying another personās bodyā¦ frankly it would make me feel like a rapist, to be intentionally viciously cruel.
Had ā¦ a few people in my life ask for that, and I just actually couldnāt do itā¦ fucking broke down crying, actually.
I donāt know how to pretend to beā¦ viciously, overwhelmingly cruel. I only know how to actually be that way, and I never want to be that way.
ā¦ i guess Iām saying Iām a method actor, in bed ā¦ ?
I know plenty of people like that, and I donāt think thatās wrong, thatās probably how we should think about that stuff lol. It should be difficult to be or pretend to be cruel to a person.
Tbh I may be a bit fucked up, but itās in a fun way, at least, lol. Results in some wires crossed and makes me want that kind of treatment, but in a context where the type and amount of treatment I receive is in my control, as a sub.
So, the biiig reason I am capable of cruelty when in a dom position is that I understand how it feels as a sub to want to be on the receiving end of it, and how much it can actually help in a therapeutic sense when the proper before and after care is taken. So I guess what im saying is I can tell how much they want it, I can tell how much they enjoy it, and I would never dream of treating a person like that if they didnāt actively want it. Like I said in another comment, I enjoy when my partner is enjoying themself.
Edit: Oh! I also wanted to add, gender power dynamics also play a huge role when dominating men, and a LOT of men like being degraded by women because itās a response to a society that constantly teaches them to treat women like objects, yknow?
but in a context where the type and amount of treatment I receive is in my control, as a sub.
I laugh becauseā¦ to me? My sub, sub to my switch?
You are only in control of essentially what you can trick me into doing. And I tend to be a rather quick learner. Either that or what you can literally force me into doing. You better either figure out one of thoseā¦ or ā¦ learn my rules. >;D
Safe words, of course, for emergency stop, butā¦ thatās it.
I revel in the extremely direct and obvious controlā¦ but I make the rules of itā¦ very simple. That. That is how I train a sub. You actually have to control or utilize yourself, really, mostlyā¦ and in so doingā¦ I become essentially entirely predictable, a āsolved gameā. Sub and dom then cease to actually make sense as distinct and consistent concepts.
So this is kind of the antithesis of at least what I percieve as āpatriarchyā. It is straightforward and obviousā¦ notā¦ taken for granted, via unspoken rules. It is ātotalā and domineeringā¦ but it is also totally undoable, reversible.
Quite literally, Iāll give you what you want, but only if you play my game, and in so doing, you kind of have to learn to think and act as I do.
Is that ā¦ manipulation, or communication?
ā¦ I donāt know. Both? Is that feminine, masucline? Both, Other? Donāt know, but it is generally quite enjoyable.
I am forcing or encouraging a condition that makes each of us both subject and object of the other, to the other.
Eitherway, my psychosexual analysis of myself isā¦ i yearn for a kind of connection on a level that isā¦ not commonly achieved.
My own kind of ādisasterpieceā, hahah!
Nonetheless, your perspective/style isā¦ interesting. Somewhat relatable, somewhat alien, to me.
I donāt understand the desire to be ā¦ degraded, or usedā¦ but I do understand your inversion of it. Makes sense.
Likewise, I, a bi switch dude, have no desire to be degraded, by a womanā¦ or anyone, really.
But I do understand that if you are always wearing the mask of ācompetent powerful leader manāā¦ the exact opposite of this is deviant and thus secretly desirable/enjoyable.
I guess uhā¦ case in point: Kristi Noemās husband. Who has beenā¦ basically socially cucked, (literally being cucked aside, or ancillary) by his much more socially powerful and influential wife, if he subscribes to stereotypical patriarchichal societal and family roles/norms.
Results in āwell then I guess I have to be the hyper stereotypical bimbo/trophy wife, because she is clearly the man of the houseā.
A sexist way of humilating himself. ā¦ Ironically, still very self centered.
I can be either, depending on what the sub wants tbh. I just get off on other people getting as much pleasure as they can have.
I love a good soft Dom myself but I can also be a pain slut depending on where Iām at in my cycle, so I understand the appeal of both. Hell I also love a good soft psychological dom that uses degradation to play mind games with me .
All Iām interested in when I dom is seeing somebody whimper and beg for me, by any means.
OwO
need need need need need need
Right?? Itās the bessst ugh. Iām a sucker for the āyouāre a disgrace and I donāt know why I want you so badlyā kind of trope haha, like someone is struggling to reconcile why theyāre so attracted to such a loser š¤
See now, as an actual switchā¦ orā¦ maybe just literally me (?)ā¦ I just actually do not enjoy verbally degrading people, makes me feel disgusted with myself.
I prefer simply demonstrating, practically, with controlled force, that you are at my mercy.
ā¦ you might be be able to mind game me out of thatā¦ but I would simply enjoy that.
Or you might be able to physically out do me, which I would also enjoy.
Not insults though. Genuine turn off for me, giving them or recieving them. Taunts? Dares? Absolutely. Degradation? ā¦ find another switch-dom.
Nowā¦ learning what you like, and withholding it from you? That I can do.
Butā¦ specifically punishing someone with something they do consent to, but causes them genuine discomfort, significant pain or panic?
Canāt do it. Too much of genuinely nice person, or something.
That makes total sense! To be fair Iād only do degradation with the most trusted of partners because it needs to come from someone of whose opinion of me i am well aware. Most of the time Iām just a competitive brat hahaha
Really love a switchy physical power dynamic where power shifts between both partners.
The mind games and degradation are for a very specific type of itch, however (hint: itās trauma).
Oh Iām not even trying to judge you or anything, you donāt need to justify anything to me, I justā¦ I am only mean to people I genuinely dislike or hate or despise in some way, or have done something severe, of the same description.
To me that seems like the antithesis of ā¦ love or just enjoying another personās bodyā¦ frankly it would make me feel like a rapist, to be intentionally viciously cruel.
Had ā¦ a few people in my life ask for that, and I just actually couldnāt do itā¦ fucking broke down crying, actually.
I donāt know how to pretend to beā¦ viciously, overwhelmingly cruel. I only know how to actually be that way, and I never want to be that way.
ā¦ i guess Iām saying Iām a method actor, in bed ā¦ ?
I know plenty of people like that, and I donāt think thatās wrong, thatās probably how we should think about that stuff lol. It should be difficult to be or pretend to be cruel to a person.
Tbh I may be a bit fucked up, but itās in a fun way, at least, lol. Results in some wires crossed and makes me want that kind of treatment, but in a context where the type and amount of treatment I receive is in my control, as a sub.
So, the biiig reason I am capable of cruelty when in a dom position is that I understand how it feels as a sub to want to be on the receiving end of it, and how much it can actually help in a therapeutic sense when the proper before and after care is taken. So I guess what im saying is I can tell how much they want it, I can tell how much they enjoy it, and I would never dream of treating a person like that if they didnāt actively want it. Like I said in another comment, I enjoy when my partner is enjoying themself.
Edit: Oh! I also wanted to add, gender power dynamics also play a huge role when dominating men, and a LOT of men like being degraded by women because itās a response to a society that constantly teaches them to treat women like objects, yknow?
Hah!
I laugh becauseā¦ to me? My sub, sub to my switch?
You are only in control of essentially what you can trick me into doing. And I tend to be a rather quick learner. Either that or what you can literally force me into doing. You better either figure out one of thoseā¦ or ā¦ learn my rules. >;D
Safe words, of course, for emergency stop, butā¦ thatās it.
I revel in the extremely direct and obvious controlā¦ but I make the rules of itā¦ very simple. That. That is how I train a sub. You actually have to control or utilize yourself, really, mostlyā¦ and in so doingā¦ I become essentially entirely predictable, a āsolved gameā. Sub and dom then cease to actually make sense as distinct and consistent concepts.
So this is kind of the antithesis of at least what I percieve as āpatriarchyā. It is straightforward and obviousā¦ notā¦ taken for granted, via unspoken rules. It is ātotalā and domineeringā¦ but it is also totally undoable, reversible.
Quite literally, Iāll give you what you want, but only if you play my game, and in so doing, you kind of have to learn to think and act as I do.
Is that ā¦ manipulation, or communication?
ā¦ I donāt know. Both? Is that feminine, masucline? Both, Other? Donāt know, but it is generally quite enjoyable.
I am forcing or encouraging a condition that makes each of us both subject and object of the other, to the other.
Eitherway, my psychosexual analysis of myself isā¦ i yearn for a kind of connection on a level that isā¦ not commonly achieved.
My own kind of ādisasterpieceā, hahah!
Nonetheless, your perspective/style isā¦ interesting. Somewhat relatable, somewhat alien, to me.
I donāt understand the desire to be ā¦ degraded, or usedā¦ but I do understand your inversion of it. Makes sense.
Likewise, I, a bi switch dude, have no desire to be degraded, by a womanā¦ or anyone, really.
But I do understand that if you are always wearing the mask of ācompetent powerful leader manāā¦ the exact opposite of this is deviant and thus secretly desirable/enjoyable.
I guess uhā¦ case in point: Kristi Noemās husband. Who has beenā¦ basically socially cucked, (literally being cucked aside, or ancillary) by his much more socially powerful and influential wife, if he subscribes to stereotypical patriarchichal societal and family roles/norms.
Results in āwell then I guess I have to be the hyper stereotypical bimbo/trophy wife, because she is clearly the man of the houseā.
A sexist way of humilating himself. ā¦ Ironically, still very self centered.
yeah i once had to stop when punishing a partner because genuine hurtful wrath emerged in me
i prefer to submit :3
Shadow work sure is something, now isnāt it?
(happy mask salesman laugh)
Well, do what works for youā¦ but know who you are, and what you might be capable of, even if ā¦ its not all good.
need to be someones perfect little puppy and be someones pathetic shameful addiction
ig the balance is to be different with different partners :3
Shameful addiction is a phrase that perks my Lil ears up hahaha
OwO
^ o_o ^