Lately I’ve had a really hard time finding pleasure in anything.
The world is such a depressing inhumane shit show at the moment. And I’m tired of being gaslit by every government from my local borough administration all the way to the federal government.
Capitalism and fascism had taken a hold on the world’s nations the likes of which we have never seen in the history of humankind.
And the worst part is I feel people have been indoctrinated to as point where we’re never gong to collectively get out of it. I don’t even think a violent revolution is possible because people are too fucking dumb to notice what’s wrong.
And the “fuck you, I got mine” attitude that capitalism has brought has ruined any chance of salvation. Empathy and solidarity are ridiculed as being some woke mind virus.
The world’s climate is beyond fucked. There’s wars and crimes against humanity being perpetrated by the Epstein class in our name. We keep electing wolves in sheep’s clothing who win our votes on fake promises to help us then turn against us and double down on policies that make life more difficult and increase our level of misery. Unless you’re a billionaire CEO or a politician, your life is absolutely worthless. You’re nothing more than a low value resource. And you don’t have freedom. Neither of speech or otherwise. Not as long as what you say or do goes against what the elites want.
We’re fucked. I don’t foresee any future worth living in.
I really do want to participate more but it’s difficult with a full time job. I hate my job. But it pays well.
I secretly wish I was fired so I could focus on other things to help my community.
I feel you on that. I’m generally wasted after work cause my work demands a lot of my brain power and ability to context switch quickly. I’m also an immigrant, wasn’t born rich, came here alone for university and continued working, with no family here, and still single too thanks to not having the mental energy to socialize on most days. My work pays well too, and the people are nice to work with, but it’s not something that really fits my vision for the future, and, while my they are nice, I don’t think my coworkers share the same kind of thoughts for the future. That said, I can live somewhat comfortably now, from near nothing to something, thanks to my job, from not needing to drive, and just needing little to live on.
I’ve been wanting to join my local Makerspace, but I don’t know how well that’ll work out if I can’t show up consistently enough. To make things even harder, I’m quite the introvert too, so socializing is bad on my social fuel.
But I know I gotta push myself and try at some point, and the sooner the better, not just for my whole spiel earlier, but also for expanding my somewhat small social circle (at least, I think it’s pretty small, but dang, it’s so hard to keep those connections afresh).
I’m actively trying to push my work env to essentially lessen my burden so that I’d have more energy left for myself after work. It’s not really working though, cause I’m just rewarded with more work after a job well done in getting more people to be able to share my work, and now I ended up as the expert whom all these people go to for help.
I yapped there, but my point is to say thay I’m trying myself too and I know it’s not necessarily easy. But I’m determined to find some way.
Aw man. I feel you. Especially the work part.
My cousin ended up with a burnout because of a similar situation. I hope you won’t let that happen to you.
Speak to your boss. Let them know the load is a bit much and you need some breathing room. Othewise they’ll end up with you on long term sick leave and they won’t have an expert anymore.
Thanks. I’m definitely on the verge of a burnout but it’s also where I find that I sort of know how to keep myself on the safe side for just a while longer. I have talked to my manager, and he’s working with the others on reducing my load, but this isn’t always easy, even with supposedly nice people. And perhaps ironically, I’m supposedly the most junior of the team, at least in terms of title, though I’m sometimes not sure if anyone actually knows that.