• TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.worldBanned from community
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    5 days ago

    going for a coffee or a walk was never a popular thing to do on a dating app. it only ever was during the pandemic when everyone had to be outside

    going for a drink or dinner or an activity, was. all my first dates are drinks, movies, food.

    it’s just that going out 5-10 years ago was cheap, now it’s expensive. but that’s true of everything.

    • jaykrown@lemmy.world
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      5 days ago

      A movie seems like a terrible idea for a first date, you spend all that time watching the movie instead of actually focusing on each other. Coffee is one of the best things to do.

      • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.worldBanned from community
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        5 days ago

        it’s actually good, because you have a shared expereince to talk about after.

        you don’t watch the movie and go home. you TALK about the movie.

        • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works
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          5 days ago

          So the first date is like a 3 to 4 hour affair minimum? Coffee can be as short as an hour, and I can dip after 15 if it’s not going well. Much more time efficient

          • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.worldBanned from community
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            5 days ago

            No? It’s like an 2-3 hours. Most movies that aren’t marvel movies are like 90m long, then you chat for an hour over a drink or food. then you go home.

            i dunno where you live, but most restaurants/bars here are very fast because they are tryign to turn over customers as much as possible. most coffee shops have a 15-20m seating limit now too. you can’t just order 1 coffee and sit there 2 hours and if you spend 2 hours for a single drink the wait staff will ask you to leave.

            • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works
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              5 days ago

              Average feature film length has been 120 minutes since the 2000’s, and it’s been trending upwards since then. Even if the movie is only 90 minutes though, you’re still gonna be in the theater for at least two hours anyways, between standing in line for popcorn/snacks/drinks and sitting through previews. And if you’re gonna follow up with a drink or food anyways, you could just… skip the movie lol

              Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to police people’s first dates, and if both parties want to go see a movie and get a drink after, great. In today’s dating ecosystem though, for the majority of people, the prospect of sitting in a dark room with a near stranger for 90-120 minutes is uncomfortable, and usually not a very good first date idea.

          • northface@lemmy.ml
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            5 days ago

            Cold talk and starting a conversation with someone you never met is not a natural skill for everyone; myself included - I am extrovert when being around people I know or people someone who is with me knows, but shut as a clam when with strangers.

            Doing something together that you can talk about to get to know each other’s preferences and what you picked up from the experience is a great way to break the ice.

            I particularily enjoy going to a museum, theatre or music concert on a date, and try to suggest something I haven’t seen or heard before.

          • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.worldBanned from community
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            5 days ago

            most people I meet are not interesting, no.

            But that’s why you go on the date, to see if they are interested or not. And one way to do that is to see how they react to a shared experience. Or you find out they hate what you love.