I have a complex multi household poly family with kids, so the “spousal” acceptance factor is a high bar to clear. I would like to start de googling, but I know that there is no way I’m going to convince everyone to do it all at once.
The biggest sticking point is gCal. We all have shared calendars with varying levels of privacy settings for the adults, and a shared kids calendar for doctors appointments, school events, etc. I know, we are every stereotype about poly people and google calendar.
Is there a thing that will let me move to another calendar system, that will still let me share my calendar with specific google using people, view and edit the shared kids calendar, and handle event invites, etc from everyone else? Assuming that only I move to it at first.
You should be able to use CalDav to sync your Google Calendar into a different calendar client. Of course, this still means you will be using Google Calendar, but from the comments, it seems you want to stick to it for the time being.
I have a GrapheneOS device (and do not have a Google account in my personal life), however my work uses the Google suite of products, including the calendar. So, I have DAVx⁵ (https://apt.izzysoft.de/fdroid/index/apk/at.bitfire.davdroid) CalDav set up along with Etar (https://f-droid.org/packages/ws.xsoh.etar/) for UI and widget. This works well for me without relying on the official Google Calendar app and Google Play Services.
It’s not so much that I want to keep using it, but I won’t be able to move everyone else over at once so need to be able to keep the sharing working with them. I’ll take a look at CalDav for now. Thanks!