I watch a lot of movies, I donāt necessarily have a yearly goal but I started recording all of the movies I watched in 2023 and have wanted to post my thoughts so here they are. A few notes
- My rating scale is .5-5, and my review philosophy is āhow well does the movie succeed at what it is trying to do?ā
- Thus Pacific Rim would be rated highly, whereas Transformers would not. Obviously Lawrence of Arabia is better than Batman Ninja vs Yakuza League despite both getting 5 stars here
- Asterisks after a title indicate how many rewatches I had this year
- Iāll limit myself to two sentences on each movie, possibly 3 for the top 5. Mainly because I doubt anyone will read all of this
- Some of these ātechnicallyā released in other years but I count theatrical/US releases because thatās where I live
- After I post all of these Iāll add some wrap-up thoughts
Without further ado, I present all of the new releases for 2025
| Name | Year | Rating | Thoughts |
|---|---|---|---|
| 28 Years Later | 2025 | 3.5 | I understand what these are trying to do, I just donāt find them as gripping or deep as everyone else. How about that mega-cock though? |
| A House of Dynamite | 2025 | 2.5 | Look, if youāre going to repeat a sequence multiple times and it has a specific length, at least make it real time. Also the ending is cop-out and they know it |
| A Minecraft Movie | 2025 | 1.5 | Itās about what you expect. Iād say it got at least half a star for being in a crowded theater |
| Ballerina* | 2025 | 5 | āCan John Wick keep working without Keanu?ā Yes. Also it has the single coolest movie kill Iāve ever seen |
| Batman Ninja vs. Yakuza League* | 2025 | 5 | This movie is unironically incredible. It oozes style, is hailarious, and has a really good plot considering how stupid it is. This is going to be my hot take ābest Batmanā to out hot take the Lego Batman crowd |
| Black Bag | 2025 | 3 | What if monogamy was really fucking hot? Oh also I guess thereās a spy thriller in here too |
| Black Mirror: USS Callister ā Into Infinity | 2025 | 4 | Look, if TV shows are going to be movie length Iām counting it. Itās pretty good anti-trek, and up there for the season |
| Bring Her Back | 2025 | 3.5 | Thereās some really fucked visuals in this one and Sally Hawkins is compelling. The rest of the movie is pretty serviceable |
| Bugonia | 2025 | 4.5 | Timely themes and knock-out performances. You truly are convinced at multiple points that Emma is and is not an alien |
| Chainsaw Man ā The Movie: Reze Arc | 2025 | 4.5 | One of the prettier animations Iāve seen in a long time with a real art on beautiful āstillā shots. It also has a good emotional arc to it as well |
| Clown in a Cornfield | 2025 | 3.5 | Significantly better than I expected. I expected dogshit, so pretty decent was a surprise |
| Companion | 2025 | 4 | Jack Quaid for best nepo baby? This is very reminiscent of Ex Machina but is definitely its own thing |
| DAN DA DAN: Evil Eye | 2025 | 4 | Itās 3 episodes of a TV show I like duct-taped together. Once again, well animated |
| Demon City | 2025 | 2 | āWe have John Wick at home.ā If memory serves this is not enough action, bad effects, and passable plot |
| Drop | 2025 | 0.5 | This shit sucked ass. It wasnāt even about the stupid fucking drop |
| Eddington | 2025 | 2 | This is like Donāt Look Up but for 2020 instead of climate change. It doesnāt land because all of these jokes have been made and your point was tired 2 years ago |
| Eternity | 2025 | 4 | Some of the most dynamic characters I have seen in a very long time. All 3 leads have great arcs and you fully end up for and against them throughout the movie |
| Fight or Flight | 2025 | 3.5 | Great value brand John Wick is still pretty watchable. I appreciated having cartoon characters and not bothering to explain why they exist |
| Final Destination Bloodlines | 2025 | 3.5 | Itās interesting to try to tie the whole franchise together. However they got a little lost in the weeds and what I really want is Rube Goldberg for murder |
| Five Nights at Freddyās 2 | 2025 | 2 | I have never played the games. Itās serviceable Bloomhouse garbage |
| Frankenstein | 2025 | 3 | If you have to have the monster tell Victor āyouāre the real monsterā take another pass at the script. Also to take a master of puppetry and put in Twilight tier CGI wolves as an antagonist is disappointing |
| Friendship | 2025 | 5 | There was a joke in this movie that was so funny to me that I caused a chain reaction in the theater of people laughing at me and me laughing at them. You have to like Tim Robbinsonās humor but this is his peak to me |
| Good Fortune | 2025 | 2.5 | Itās like this movie was written by somebody who understands what is relatable and timely comedy, but not why. Presumably because it was (Aziz, you shoulda shouted out Riyadh) |
| How to Train Your Dragon | 2025 | 3 | Itās almost shot for shot the animated movie. Idk what this adds to the would but I guess some people got paychecks |
| I Know What You Did Last Summer | 2025 | 2.5 | Marginally better than the first one because it gets less bogged down in a pointlessly confusing plot |
| Jurassic World Rebirth | 2025 | 0.5 | You canāt just blast the Jurassic Park theme when you want me to feel happy, sad, excited, or really any emotion. There was also no reason for this film to involve children besides studio mettling |
| KPop Demon Hunters | 2025 | 3 | I saw this on the early part of the hype and was mostly impressed by the visuals. I found the story pretty route for kidās media, and I just donāt have the palate for k-pop, though these were decent |
| Love Hurts | 2025 | 1.5 | Knock-off John Wick. I use that derogatorily |
| M3GAN 2.0 | 2025 | 4 | Honestly this is more like Scary Movie: Mission Impossible (Movie: Impossible?). I use that complimentarily |
| Mickey 17 | 2025 | 3 | I expected something with more subtly and bite from Bong Joon Ho. Itās ok, but I get that Trump sucks, you donāt need a metaphor to tell me |
| Mission: Impossible ā The Final Reckoning | 2025 | 4 | Honestly a pretty good end(?) to the franchise. The AI doesnāt make a ton of sense but plenty of these movies donāt so Iām fine with it |
| Nobody 2 | 2025 | 2.5 | Maybe the best āfunnyā John Wick. I still am not convinced funny John Wick works |
| Novocaine | 2025 | 3 | Maybe the best funny āJohn Wickā. I still am not convinced funny John Wick works |
| āOh, Hi!ā | 2025 | 3 | Thereās two ways to interpret the end of this movie. I chose to be charitable with it but if I take the crowd consensus Iād knock off a star |
| Paddington in Peru*** | 2025 | 4 | Paddington continues to be excellent. Honestly Iām fine if they just keep recasting as people have to move out if it means we can avoid another origin story |
| Predator: Badlands | 2025 | 3.5 | Look, Dan Trachtenberg knows what heās doing with Predator so my hope is that he is trying to get people into the franchise so he can start making really cool movies. Dear lord, please donāt make Predator knock off Star Wars |
| Predator: Killer of Killers | 2025 | 5 | Absolutely stellar action, incredible characters, and bad-ass Predators. This is my hope that Dan can save the franchise |
| Relay | 2025 | 3 | Itās fine action with a cool premise. As someone with friends who work with confidential info I know that every Relay operator is so fucking pumped when they get these calls and they all absolutely discuss them with each other |
| Rental Family | 2025 | 5 | I would never have expected āsad pudgy americanā as Brendan Frasierās renaissance but fuck is he great. Another best actor nom seems almost guaranteed |
| Roofman | 2025 | 4.5 | I really appreciate this being filmed on location for a lot of the important parts. Tatum does a great job at playing a very unique man and Dunst is a great southern mom just trying her best |
| Sinners | 2025 | 4 | I really like this take on vampires, less sexy and more insidious. Just a great original movie |
| Sonic the Hedgehog 3 | 2025 | 4.5 | Honestly the best video game movie. Full of the references fans want, kick-ass music, and they make the plot better than the video game |
| Superman | 2025 | 3 | I like Superman being goofy and larger than life. The camerawork really took me out of it a few times and like every live action super-hero movie, itās too long |
| The Amateur | 2025 | 3.5 | Rami Malek does a decent job at āJason Bourne but with computers instead of fistsā. I wonder if heāll ever escape Mr Robot? |
| The Fantastic 4: First Steps | 2025 | 2.5 | Eh, itās a fine Marvel movie that seems to be fairly separate from the rest of it. Itās still too long |
| The Legend of Ochi | 2025 | 3 | For a movie that claims to not have used AI, its whole aesthetic is āAI generated artā. You gotta give props to any novel childrenās media at this point though |
| The Life of Chuck** | 2025 | 5 | Wow this movie just blew me away when I saw it, I know people hate to be told to go in blind but this movie really benefits from it. Full of joy, hope, and darkness while being told in a way that is very unique |
| The Long Walk* | 2025 | 4 | Itās hunger games for dudes. But its also pretty good |
| The Mastermind | 2025 | 1 | If you want to tell a movie this centered around a character there has to be something compelling about him. Even the wife is barely in this movie despite her ostensibly being part of the planning team |
| The Monkey | 2025 | 3 | It tries to walk the line between Final Destination and family drama. Iād much rather it have picked a lane, it felt like 2 movies taped together |
| The Naked Gun | 2025 | 3.5 | Itās a LOT of stupid goofs, jokes, gags, and japes. Thereās going to be everyone will find at least one thing funny in this somewhere |
| The Phoenician Scheme | 2025 | 4 | Not the best Wes Anderson movie. I still like what he does now that he is less budget constrained |
| The Roses | 2025 | 4 | For your typical family dramedy movie this one is more funny and endearing than most. It also takes two people who arenāt traditionally portrayed as sexy in the media and gets you on their side |
| The Running Man | 2025 | 3.5 | Glenn just doesnāt have the juice like Arnie. The plot was also a little to convenient for him |
| The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants | 2025 | 1 | Walked out 45 minutes through to watch Five Nights at Freddieās 2, maybe the score would go down if I finished it. Idk if this is what SpongeBob is like now or if my memory of it is wrong but I was not entertained |
| The Toxic Avenger | 2025 | 3.5 | Funny and timely to the world weāre in. It has a bit of that indie grime to it which is likely intentional and feels like Repo: the Genetic Opera, but good |
| Together | 2025 | 3 | Itās fine for horror but spends too much time on the relationship stuff at the beginning for how it ends. Again, donāt split the difference, pick a lane |
| Twinless | 2025 | 4.5 | This movie can kinda read like a horror from the description. Itās not at all really, and has some really beautiful moments from some really tragic characters |
| Weapons | 2025 | 4.5 | I think the trend of comedy writers making horror. Iām a firm believer that comedy and horror succeed when they subvert your expectations and boy does this subvert whatever youāre expecting from it |
Not from this guy apparently.