TheAsianDonKnots

One of my first IT jobs in the early 2000’s was managing customer DNS and e-mail boxes for a service provider. I would often have to kick start global propagation of a domain by adding nonsense to their url and removing it, forcing the domain to start propagation… a foo record.

Now imagine having to check the url to make sure the change worked. Now imagine it was German shit porn. My lunch was ruined on multiple occasions.

That wasn’t even the worst. We had a section of our run book that was all about contacting the FBI if what we found was bad, and sometimes it was.

Yeah, I have SO many rescue animals, it’s hard to explain to normal people. Multiple dogs with all sorts of problems, a few parrots, an angry hedgehog, two cats, and my vet’s first call to foster (almost anything). They are all well taken care of and clean but there’s a… smell.

I’m also holding Balthazar, a bark scorpion, against his will for invading Pretty Kitty Pepper’s land. Balthazar is kept well and fed a steady diet of pinheads. When he eats, it looks like a dot matrix printer in reverse. That’s the one creature in the house most people freak out about the most, but they would all be wise to fear the parrots.

Pretty Kitty Pepper for reference

I’m diagnosed dyslexic which, when reading aloud, sends me into a stutter to full embarrassed apologies. When reading to myself, I’ll make it 10 pages before I realize I didn’t read shit. I’m never getting laid in your hypothetical world.

Who am I kidding? I’m not getting laid as is.

…and it’s relatively cheap. It’s estimated that Pablo Escobar was pulling in $400,000,000.00 usd per month. That’s easily two US militaries without adjusting for inflation, and the Medellín is paid, AND they still profit. Crazy.

The one that was like 10m long 😆 I’m assuming that’s the album one.

I used to study in a cozy little cafe that was a row of houses turned into business. Next door was a bar that could get a bit rowdy sometimes. They had one of those jukeboxes with an app. I would load up Hotel California every chance I got. I could barely hear the music but I could hear the patrons groan every 30 minutes or so. One day the song option wasn’t there, so I switched to American Pie by Don McLean.

I’m sure they hated me.

I will never drink civet coffee. I don’t care if my 110 year old Asian auntie demands it, I’d rather take a house slipper to the ear than drink a cup of shitty coffee.

I’m speaking from the point of view of the app you gave permissions to collect your hardware data. Y’all are talking like I think a MAC is transmitted over tcp. I don’t need an intro to OSI. Those apps use the hardware data to know if you’re using Samsung, LG, Apple, etc and they store large databases of MAC addresses on individuals. They can even build a local hardware profile to see if you sold your device, to whom, and what device you replaced it with.

Counterpoint… Hunting and gathering. That animal you’re eating didn’t kill itself. My trowel kills some of the plants I’m harvesting, and a fruit starts to die once it’s cut from the vine. Destruction is necessary in life. It isn’t automatically an “evil” word. We as a species wouldn’t exist without destruction, death, and decomposition.

Now, whether the existence of humans at all is a good thing, is a question for Nietzsche and Douglas Adams. We aren’t the greatest.

I’m speaking from the point of view of the app you willingly installed that tracks your MAC address. Part of the reason iOS11 implemented built in spoofing, but I can tell you right now, I know Tim Apple ain’t on the users side anymore.

Unless they’re spoofing their MAC address, hardware fingerprinting is much more reliable and predictable. It’s easy to watch a MAC bounce all over the country/world in a matter of minutes.

At this point in history, it’s too late to implement identity protections. Your profile is already built, stored, and backed up. They even know your deleted edgelord MySpace account and that you unfriended Tom (you monster). I guess if you were born in a ditch without a SSN, and never signed up for anything, not even a house/apartment, you could go under the radar.

Thanks for the laugh, friend. What a great movie.

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (2010)

Agreed. Fuck cars. Going from LA to SD on the train is so much more peaceful, has WiFi, 120v, the right of way, and beautiful views.

About nitrous, I knew an Impala guy that pulled us out of the office one day and opened his trunk and points to a spare tire on top of a perfectly carpeted and mounted box. Says “do you know what that is?” Ummm, you’re hiding your no2 from the cops? “How did you know!?” Idiot.

…but you’ve seen a rifle take itself to school and start blasting? Recently I’ve seen a guy plow a car into a group of peaceful protesters and I’ve seen a pack of drones fly themselves into Russian bombers.

Even countries that don’t allow citizen weapons are armed to the teeth because their neighbors are as well. The first time I saw an assault rifle in real life was on some sort of police at a TGV station in France… and if your argument is “yeah but they’re trained police and militaries”, those are some of the most unhinged and unstable people I’ve ever met.

I know we need stricter gun control laws, and I know that societies without citizen weapons have lower to no mass shootings. I know we need free/low cost healthcare. I’m arguing that there’s nothing more dangerous about a rifle over other things in your garage but bump stocks make a rifle dangerous and unpredictable.

The rifle as a tool is just as safe as a log splitter, wood chipper, machete, drone, or the 3000lbs car you hurdle down the highway at 80mph. It’s the operator of those things that can be dangerous.

Bumpstocks, however, make the weapon discharge unexpectedly and is stupid to own or operate.

Hypothetically, let’s say the administration cancels social security. What happens to all of my money I’ve already paid into the system? I’m not at retirement age yet. Are they just going to steal my investment?

I don’t know. Even if the lawyers didn’t take a dime of that pot, and even if the recipient didn’t have to pay taxes on that settlement, that’s only $2,000 per person that was injured on the job. Seems like less than a slap on the wrist and more like a wag of the finger.

Yeah, I called it a rom-com because…

Took me an hour and a half of my own time to get ready and commute 30 miles in heavy traffic.

Once at work, I would get invited to the cafeteria to get coffee with the boss, which also turned into a breakfast burrito. As I sat there getting fatter, my boss would mostly talk about his personal life and we’d wander back to my cube.

Other people would congregate around our area catching up on sports ball, check out the women walking through the parking lot.

When things broke the executive IT support guys sat in your lap until you fixed it. Then lunch… some place fatty because their spouses weren’t there to discourage them from the double bbq burger with fries and a few beers.

At this point I’ve done about an hour behind the keyboard. Stay on hold with a vendor for an hour. Then pack up and head 42 minutes home.

NOW, I roll out of bed, get my bowl of yogurt and granola walk over to my office, and I’m heads down and able to concentrate for the next 6 hours. Since the lock downs I’ve increased my work performance and received multiple raises for my efforts. I have more flexibility to watch my kids if they’re sick or on break, and I can get a quickie on my lunch hour… or grocery shop. Thriving indeed.